Germany's Next Top Model

That's right. There's a German version of it and Heidi Klum does it. It's so much better than the American version: less bitching, more fashion. Plus Klum is a much less overbearing mediator.

Last season there was this really effeminate American black guy that was one of the fellow judges. He spoke terrible German and had amazing charisma. Because he now has his own German talk show (so I'm told), he's been replaced by this older Frenchman who is living up to my standards. Sometimes when he's thinking he purses his lips and it's quite adorable.

Unlike the last season, I understand everything they're saying and sometimes I learn new words like, "Hochkreuz."

My least favorite so far is Gina-Lisa because she has long, white hair, way-too-tan skin and a voice like she smokes a pack a day. My favorite is Raquele because she's Swiss, looks healthy, and has confidence in what she's doing.

Juno

Awesome movie. Someone else please tell me that they cried like a baby as well. It should be seen, at the very least, for the quality of the soundtrack. Also, I've really missed American slang.

Fav part: Juno picks a crocus and says, "I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while."

The Mighty Boosh

This young comedy group is probably the best thing that has happened to me since I discovered The Flying Circus series in 7th grade. Honestly, I don't know who I have a bigger crush on. Okay, fine. Noel is hotter, but only because he plays Old Gregg! they have a website

Dear New Yorker....

I used to fancy you to be an impressive literary magazine. You used to have provocative, interesting short stories and poetry. I thought that I'd struck a gold mine when I discovered that I could read most any published story for free online; you even offered a printable format! But now that I've given a thorough investigation of your recent publications, I've been thoroughly disappointed. Every short fiction is another disastrous relationship story and your poetry more often than not tends to fall into the "contemporary bull shit" category. Your closed-minded, right-winged leftist view on current politics also fails to interest me. Was I too young when last I loyally read that I was engulfed upon your snobbery?

Let me know if this works for you, dear reader:

The Star Market
by Marie Howe

The people Jesus loved were shopping at the Star Market yesterday.
An old lead-colored man standing next to me at the checkout
breathed so heavily I had to step back a few steps.

Even after his bags were packed he still stood, breathing hard and
hawking into his hand. The feeble, the lame, I could hardly look at them:
shuffling through the aisles, they smelled of decay, as if the Star Market

had declared a day off for the able-bodied, and I had wandered in
with the rest of them—sour milk, bad meat—
looking for cereal and spring water.

Jesus must have been a saint, I said to myself, looking for my lost car
in the parking lot later, stumbling among the people who would have
been lowered into rooms by ropes, who would have crept

out of caves or crawled from the corners of public baths on their hands
and knees begging for mercy.

If I touch only the hem of his garment, one woman thought,
could I bear the look on his face when he wheels around?
(The New Yorker 1/14/2008)

Expect nothing and you shall recieve

Seriously, y'all. I didn't think I'd get anything for Weihnachten and I got: house slippers, fleace gloves, a sci fi book, and a learning Deutsch book from the Dad, a pretty necklace from Susanna, and then from my mom I got vanilla extract and about €25 worth of Advil, which is of course about $2.50 and vanilla extract? Unheard of in Euroland. For myself I got a 4 pack of Belgian beers which I've been enjoying whilst I watched Coffee and Cigarettes; this fantastic artsy-ass film that everyone and their mom should see.

Oh! I forgot that from the Putzfrau I received some mascara and perfume. And I'm talking Lancome and Givinche. I don't believe that Lancome tests on animals either, so that's really quite the plus.

Ein Shönes Weihnachten am alles!