Here's an update on my successes in the language department:
1) I'm seriously lacking on swear words.
2) I can say almost whatever I want, but often have to do so in a very round-about way.
3) The accent...
a) It used to be French. Not American. French.
b) Someone told me the other day that I had a nice Aachen accent. An example of that would be to say the "g"s at the end of a word with an "sh" rather than a "guh" or "kuh," which you can also here. Really, it's more of a Cologne/ Rhine River accent and really, I don't know crap about what I'm saying, I just try my damnedest to copy everyone else.
c) Someone else told me that I fall into that general "no accent" category where you can tell from all the grammatical mistakes that they're an Auslander, but you can't tell from where. Hey, that's still points in my book.
4) I've dreamt in German a few times.
5) I got a German folk song stuck in my head the other day. If only you truly knew of the torture of which I speak....